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Real Estate Information |
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Relocation Humor: Why I Bought A House
The Rental Experience in South Florida Readers: This is based on a true experience -- only slightly exaggerated -- part of my life of adventure. If I had read my own book, Making the Big Move, and followed my own advice, none of this would have happened! A word to the wise ... To: Cathy Goodwin Welcome to Agony by the Sea! We are so pleased you have chosen to rent from us. You will love our beautiful grounds, our fully-equipped fitness center and our sparkling swimming pools. The residents are a friendly group and we know you'll enjoy meeting them at our many social events. Enclosed are brochures proclaiming our commitment to Superior Service Quality. We are sure you'll be happy here. Before you move in, we need to have the following monies in certified funds. A few drops of blood on the contract wouldn't hurt either. For your convenience, here are numbers for electricity, telephone, newspaper and that all-important cable service. Please arrange to turn them on before you arrive. To: Cathy Goodwin To: Agony Arms To:Cathy Goodwin To: Agony Arms To: Cathy Goodwin Our definition of Superior Service does not include notifying the residents of packages as they arrive. That is the responsibility of UPS, FedEx or whatever carrier the sender chooses. We recommend you advise people to send you packages only by US Mail, as the mail carriers won't let us anywhere near their packages anymore. The Postal Inspectors are a lot less forgiving than the UPS drivers. You may come get your packages during our office hours, which have been reduced to 10-5 Monday-Friday. To: Agony Arms Then again, maybe I could walk down there and get some exercise. The fitness center, which is guarded with those $50 keys, was vandalized and none of the machines work. The downstairs speakers are broken. Instead of fixing them, you play the upstairs speakers extra loud. And the music is so awful that nearly everybody wears earphones to drown it out. To: Cathy Goodwin However, if you do not wish to have us receive packages, we will waccommodate your wishes. We will go through each day's shipment, check for your name, and refuse to accept anything addressed to you. In other words, we are willing to spend time and energy to deny you service, but not to offer you any service in the first place. As for the fitness center, nobody else has complained. We choose music that most people like. Earphones? They're probably listening to a stereo version of the radio station we chose for the speakers. To: Agony Arms Just out of curiosity, why do you give us windshield stickers if nobody patrols the grounds? To: Cathy Goodwin To: All Tenants Note that residents of Agony Arms cannot be out of town for more than three days, because we need to be able to send you surprise notices at all times. And we want to keep track of your visitors. Think of us as your housemother, not your landlord. To: Agony Arms To: Cathy Goodwin To: All Tenants To: Agony Arms Even if I owed this money, do you really believe a hand-scrawled note taped to the doorknob Friday morning, demanding payment by 5 o'clock Friday evening, delivers the "professionalism" and "Superior Service" that you keep promising? Your note says if I do not pay up I will be considered delinquent and my credit destroyed forever. Don't you usually send a bill first? Don't any of the other tenants ever work past five? To: Cathy Goodwin To: Agony Arms Do you plan to shampoo the carpet before you throw it away? Anyway, the lease says I am supposed to leave the apartment in the condition I found it. What does that leave you to do? There's no evidence that anything was decorated in this apartment in the last ten years, let alone re-decorated. Oh yes, attached is a copy of a water bill which came out of nowhere. My lease does not say anything about paying a water bill. True, buried in all the documents I signed under duress, I found a line about authorizing you to add utility payments to my bill on thirty days notice. No notice, no check. End of discussion. I seem to spend more time defending myself against bogus bills than doing anything else. Why don't you change your slogan to Agony Arms, the work-creating community? To: Cathy Goodwin To: Leasing Agents To: Cathy Goodwin To: All Tenants We have no social events scheduled for the month of December, following the pattern established in July, August, September, October and November. However, our monthly Pest Control visit remains as scheduled. The exterminator is a nice guy, and Pest Control can be considered a social event in South Florida. As Christmas approaches, we are grateful for each of our tenants. Each of you is a blessing and we hope you stay a long time. In fact, if you recommend a new blessing who signs a lease, we will enter your name in a drawing for a prize -- one month's free rent! We're not desperate or anything. We just hope you'll share your Agony Arms experience with as many people as possible! To: Agony Arms I'm outta here.Please give my sincerest condolences to my replacement, as well as this extra set of earplugs to cope with my stereo-loving neighbor. You can bet I'll share my experience a lot. Signed, About The Author Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D., is an author, speaker and career/business consultant, helping midlife professionals take their First step to a Second Career. http://www.cathygoodwin.com. "Ten secrets of mastering a major life change" mailto:subscribe@cathygoodwin.com Contact: cathy@cathygoodwin.com 505-534-4294
MORE RESOURCES: Real Estate Fund Exceeds $2.5 Billion for Affordable Housing The New York Times How eliminating property taxes in Florida could affect the state's real estate market - Fox Business Real Estate Transactions, March 31 edition Hopkinton Independent Floyd Mayweather Jr. bragged about a $400 million property deal. There's just one problem. Business Insider Ranked: The Fastest Growing Luxury Real Estate Markets Visual Capitalist Real Estate's Next Frontier Seton Hall As the stockpile of Southwest Florida homes explodes, what role are Canadians playing? Naples Daily News ASHA joins real estate coalition urging Congress to abandon new real estate tax hikes McKnight's Senior Living McCourt’s ‘supercharged’ real estate efforts pay off Multifamily Dive Senior Home Equity Stands at $13.95 Trillion Boston Real Estate Times Green Finance Unlocked: A Primer for Sustainable Real Estate Urban Land Magazine CMC Realty of Norcross joins ERA Real Estate Atlanta Agent Magazine Hamptons Real Estate Market Data – Week of 3/25/2025 Hamptons.com Sinead Kelly Joins Bowdoin Construction as Assistant Project Manager Boston Real Estate Times Boston Life Sciences, Biotech, Pharma & Medical Facilities Conference 2025: A Must-Attend Event for Industry Leaders Boston Real Estate Times Nitsch Engineering Recognized for Green Infrastructure Innovation at 2025 ACEC Awards Boston Real Estate Times Real Estate Edition The Daily Iowan Only earthship in California is on the real estate market. See the half-buried home - Sacramento Bee Developer Thomas O’Brien Not Running for Boston Mayor: Who is O’Brien? Boston Real Estate Times Commercial real estate showing resilience, despite volatile environment Corridor Business Journal R.W. Holmes Brokers $2.3 Million Sale of 3-Acre Industrial Storage Site in Tewksbury Boston Real Estate Times Real estate empire of developer behind S.F.’s ‘Monster in the Mission’ appears to be unraveling San Francisco Chronicle Brokerages have 3 options after Clear Cooperation decision Real Estate News by RealEstateNews.com Fiji nationals in Modesto sentenced to prison for real estate fraud scheme The San Joaquin Valley Sun Stewart Title to offer real estate services to Sugar Land Community Impact | News Real Estate: March 17 to March 21 Newport This Week Northeast Valley Real Estate Insights: April 2025 City Sun Times FBI Boston warns property owners, real estate agents about "title pirates" after I-Team reports CBS News Longtime Sarasota real estate leader, environmental advocate dies Business Observer Bellevue Chamber Hosting Eastside Real Estate Symposium 425business.com Nuveen names new global head of real estate Alternative Credit Investor Real Estate Transfers (Week of March 24-28) Times Bulletin Media Nicole Dorrell Joins LakeExpo Real Estate Team LakeExpo.com REAL ESTATE | Barton Business Condominiums on HWY 45 and CTH D | By Tom Zernia - BOSS Realty Washington County Insider See how much real estate prices have changed in Napa last week The Press Democrat Largest Construction Projects Series: Boston’s South Station Tower Boston Real Estate Times NWMLS responds to Compass, blasts efforts to ‘gatekeep’ listings Real Estate News by RealEstateNews.com MLS PIN deal finally gets judge’s OK despite DOJ pushback Real Estate News by RealEstateNews.com How mortgage brokers can supercharge real estate investors to find the perfect opportunity - MPA Mag Laurel Real Estate arranges sale of Cleveland-area Marriott hotelmanagement.net As Military Spending Soars, Demand for Spy-Proof Real Estate Booms The New York Times Million dollar-plus condos are holding up the regional real estate market - Key Biscayne Independent Million dollar-plus condos are holding up the regional real estate market Key Biscayne Independent Rojas helps leads the way in real estate for Key Biscayne IslanderNews.com Premier Team Real Estate The Norfolk Daily News These 3 CT towns rank high in real estate bidding wars, prices on Redfin's list of hottest in U.S. CT Insider 2 strategies to avoid paying taxes on your rental properties Business Insider Trump’s tariffs already hitting Las Vegas Valley’s real estate industry Las Vegas Review-Journal Tariffs Can Impact the Real Estate Market in Unexpected Ways Scotsman Guide Laurel Real Estate Co. Arranges Sale of Cleveland-Area Fairfield Inn & Suites Hotel News Resource Staunton proposes $164 million budget, including hike in real estate tax rate: THE AGENDA The News Leader | Staunton, VA Voters reject sale of Westwood park for Karbank office project The Business Journals L.A. sends masses of tourists to Vegas — and owns real estate nearby Las Vegas Review-Journal Boca Raton Real Estate Quarterly Market Update | (Q1 2025) Champagne & Parisi Real Estate Blueprint: Nuveen's new real estate chief, CDPQ's next chapter, Invesco's latest Europe fund, and more Private Equity Real Estate | PERE Rockpoint Acquires Altitude Apartments, Expanding Residential Portfolio in Greater Boston Boston Real Estate Times Morguard Corporation Increases Ownership Position in Morguard Real Estate Investment Trust Yahoo Finance Janelle Iturbe Joins Quarles Phoenix Office as Partner in Real Estate Group Legal Desire Media and Insights 6 Green Flags That Real Estate Pros Look for When House Hunting Better Homes & Gardens Radio Real Estate 3/29/25 My Bellingham Now |
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